The Ups and Downs of Being a Guy
by srusse87
Summary: A silly little ficlet where Sally and Duo discuss bad cafeteria food and what makes a guy 'happy'. Genfic for the most part with a hint of yaoi.


Disclaimer: As always, Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me.

Warning/Pairing: It's a genfic of sorts, Sally and Duo- but there is implied Heero/Duo.

**The Ups and Downs of Being a Guy**

The crappy thing about field missions was that you had to live out in the field. This of course, meant lousy weather conditions and field rations. It was like an unspoken Rule or something. Sally tugged her hood closer over her head and squinted to see through the snow toward the large tent in the distance.

At least there was an established base camp. Unfortunately, that was because the area was often in conflict. Fighting had only eased because a harsh storm had blown in. Both sides had retreated for more fuel and to wait out the bad weather, while the Preventers on-site hunkered down somewhere in the middle feeling like sitting ducks.

With a sigh of relief she pushed open the commissary door and stomped inside, trying to knock off as much snow as possible. Looking around she noticed Duo sitting alone.

After filling up her tray she went over and sat down on the bench across from him.

"How can you eat that stuff? I think it's listed as a Preventer biological weapon." She pointed to the slabs of meatloaf and mashed potatoes he had piled on his tray.

Duo grinned and grabbed the ketchup bottle that was sitting in the middle of their table. "It's easy. I've been assured ketchup is one of the main food groups so I just pour it all over the brown nasty and it's all good."

She shuddered. "You could always eat something else you know. The split pea soup isn't so bad."

Duo looked at the stuff in her bowl and then wrinkled his nose. "I don't see how anything that's green, with pink and black bits in it could possibly be good. I think I'll stick with my ketchup."

Sally shrugged and watched him pour more of the tomato sauce on his meatloaf before eating several bites. "So where's your partner in crime? Your culinary tastes scare him away?"

Duo chewed another bite, making a face and swallowing quickly. "Gristly bit," He told her. "Nah, Heero's off somewhere with Wufei. Last I saw him; he was packing snowshoes and a tranq gun. Wouldn't be surprised if they were off to snag some bad guys while the getting's good."

Sally raised an eyebrow and stirred her soup idly with a spoon. "They left you out of all the action?"

"I just got back from recon; somebody had to find the bad guys, right? Une said I needed down-time or I'd get frostbite. I'm supposed to go take a bath after this."

Sally sighed longingly at the idea. "A bath sounds nice."

Duo leaned forward and waggled his eyebrows. "You could join me. I'd wash your back."

Sally smacked him upside the head and then smirked. "In your dreams, pal. We've got separate showers for a reason."

He sat back looking pleased. "Hell, even better. Noin could soap your back! You guys could get all lathered up and then hose each other off." He sighed happily and then chuckled, "Is it weird that this conversation is actually turning me on?"

Tossing a roll at him, Sally snorted. "You're a guy. I've decided it doesn't take much to turn you on."

Duo looked slightly offended. "That's not true, I'm simply turned on by a variety of things. Heero in military fatigues, the smell of Heero's shampoo, Heero wearing my pants, Heero in no pants…" He smirked, "Oops. Now I can't stand up."

Sally shook her head but laughed. "Just make a dash for outside and the cold air'll shrink that right up for you. Then it'll be all tiny and shriveled. You'll be good as new."

Duo gave her a reproachful look. "It's not tiny, either. I prefer the expression "smaller than usual". You aren't supposed to call men's penises tiny. We are very fragile."

Sally burst out laughing. Pushing away from the table, she picked up her tray and grinned down at Duo. He continued to glare at her with a rather offended expression. Still giggling she waved goodbye and trudged back toward the door. As she was leaving the tent, Heero walked in, stepping to the side to let her pass and she reached out to snag his arm.

"Better eat fast, Yuy. Maxwell's got a point to prove and I think you're going to be busy for awhile."

Still laughing she walked off toward the showers. "Fragile. I'll just bet."


End file.
